Pest Control Charlotte NC

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Of all the crazy Valentine’s gifts and posts out there, How can a pest control guy compete? Well I was happy to resign this holiday to the flower puff girls and the chocolate Dips. Especially after our last bust on the 12 worst Christmas Gifts… Definitely leave me out of the Valentine’s scene.

Until I came across this Valentine’s Love Bug Gift idea…

http://www.bronxzoo.com/name-a-roach/

NAME a Roach

Whaaaaat????? You can’t be serious. …but yes they are.

How low can you go?  You realize these are HISSING roaches?  Nothing says I love you more than a little hiss, especially when coming from a cockroach.

How can I sit here and be silent when the Bronx Zoo is making a mockery of Valentine’s Day for me? Sure sure, there’s a donation and it goes to a good cause. But wow?  WOW!  And I thought that dumping my girlfriend prior to Valentine’s day was low… I am sure many a women would prefer to be dumped over this Valentine’s day gift.

In all honesty, Who wants a roach named after them?

On Valentine’s day or any other day of the year? If you want to save this species or learn more about them then go buy one online. Yes, you can buy one online, an for a cheaper price then naming one.

But sticking with this them, without being a hater on Valentine’s day, our top ten picks for Roach Names:

10: Stinky

9: Bill

8: Dopey (as in smoke that roach)

7: Cat Bait

6: Poor boy’s pet.

5: I look like a prune but don’t eat me.

4: Colgate (You are what you eat.)

3: Chicken Soup ( Ask Luke Fender )

2: Splat. ( pest control humor )

1: Vader. “Happy…. <hooohhhpaaaa > Valentine’s Day…

< hoohhpaaaa.. cough> my young padawan.

Bulwark Exterminating is looking for qualified individuals to fill multiple full-time and year-round Merry Person positions.  Merry Persons are responsible for being the happiest people they can possibly be and spreading that happiness beyond the holiday season and new year.

Essential Duties and Responsibilities

Be merry to every single person you come in contact with, including those that might be less kind to you and/or others.  This position is responsible for developing the maximum level of “merry” and passing it on to: friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, fellow drivers, elderly people, children, pets, and everyone else.  You will be expected to do things such as: smile to people, wave to people, drink hot chocolate and/or hot cider and/or egg nog, wear a scarf, don’t be a grinch, don’t be a scrouge, don’t leave coal in anyone’s stocking, and open the door to the freezing carolers outside.

Qualifications:

- Be a human being

Salary: Lots of good memories and a happy lifestyle

Benefits: More than you know.

Qualified candidates should NOT email their resume and/or cover letter to anyone.  No phones call please.

Bulwark Exterminating is an Equal Opportunity Employer.  Pointy looking elf ears will not play in your favor.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!